A Dimly Lit Heart
by ameristar
Summary: Sam knew she would reveal too much, but she felt her heart might burst in her chest if she held it in much longer. One shot.


Cat woke up that Saturday morning to the sound of a Pearphone smashing against the kitchen floor.

"I'm such an idiot!" Sam screamed, her voice ringing loudly through the condo's thin walls. Cat pulled off her pink personalized eye mask, and sat up alarmed. While Sam was prone to her outbursts, Cat instinctively knew that this was something different, especially since it was before noon on a weekend. Getting up, she opened the door and peeked around the corner to see Sam on her knees staring numbly at the pieces of the expensive smart phone she held in her hands.

"Are-are you okay?" Cat meekly asked, still standing as far away from Sam as possible to avoid having anything thrown at her. Sam visibly straightened, scratching a tear from her eye quickly with her fingers before it had the chance to fall.

"Yeah." She replied flatly. "It's just my mother." Cat walked tenderly toward the blonde, who stood up to toss the fragments into the trash.

"What happened?" Cat asked, placing her small hand on Sam's shoulder reassuringly. Sam shrugged it off and distanced herself from the younger girl.

"We had a conversation. She wasn't very receptive." Sam gestured to the trash. "So I did what I always do. Break things. Destroy." Sam bit her lip, looking away. It was obvious to Cat that Sam didn't want to give any details, but she felt compelled to ask anyway.

"What did you talk about?" Cat asked innocently, prompting Sam to scoff bitterly and once again rub at her eyes.

"I don't think I can say it again." Again? Cat wondered what she meant. Sam sat on the couch, turning on the tv to break the silence. "Forget it, Cat." She said, distantly. Cat just stood there in confused, and watched Sam fight an invisible battle alone in her head.  
-

For the rest of the day the cryptic words Sam said plagued Cat's mind. Cat knew she wasn't the brightest of people, but she knew Sam. She lived with her long enough to know that this type of behavior wasn't normal. She had her fits of course, and she threw things, but the sullen and depressed look on the older girl's face had a story to it; a story that Cat wanted to know. So when they went to the mall together to find a new phone for Sam, Cat spent the entire time staring at her, trying to will the knowledge out of the other girl's mind just from concentration alone.

"What are you staring at me for?" Sam chuckled lightly. Cat knitted her eyebrows, deep in thought.

"Trying to figure you out." Cat replied vaguely, still staring. Sam could feel her skin tingle with embarrassment at the attention.

"Well good luck." She mumbled to herself under her breath. Cat heard it of course, and added that comment to the list of peculiar things her friend said that day.

When they got back to the condominium that afternoon, Sam was playing with the settings on her new Pearphone when Cat knocked on their bedroom door.

"Come in." Sam said flatly, distracted. Cat walked in to see Sam on her bed, and got on her own, hugging her unicorn to her chest before speaking.

"Sam, what did you tell your Mother?" Cat asked once more.

"Don't worry about it kid." Sam replied with a sad sigh.

"Did you tell her..." Cat began, suddenly Sam's head popped up, her face tense with fear that the words that would follow were going to be correct. Cat shut her mouth suddenly, wanting to change her approach. "It's okay. Y'know, if you are. I don't mind." Cat said, satisfied with her answer to the day's mystery. Sam swallowed, looking down at her hands.

"Really?" Sam said, her voice pitchy and soft. She looked up at Cat with watery eyes. "Because my Mom wasn't. She said I was disgusting." Cat blinked at Sam's expression, her face soft and doe-like. She let go of her unicorn and stood to walk over to Sam's bed. Sam's lip was quivering with a sadness that only came from true rejection, and Cat instantly pulled her into a crushing hug. Sam let her, and even hugged her back.

"You're not disgusting." Cat said reassuringly. "You're wonderful, and kind, and strong, and amazing, but not disgusting." Sam laughed through her tears at Cat's kind words.

"Does this change anything?" Sam asked, the fear shining in her pale blue eyes.

"Why would it?" Cat replied, genuinely confused. That's when Sam realized that Cat didn't know how she felt. She cringed at the thought, hoping Cat wouldn't come to her own conclusions.

"Nevermind." Sam said. She smiled at her friend, a small forlorn little grin that hid more than Cat could ever comprehend on her own.

Later that night, as they both pretended to sleep in their beds, the tension of words unsaid lingered in the room between them like a ghost. Cat grew tired of wearing her mask, and shyly lifted it above her eyes to peek at Sam. She was awake, watching her. When their eyes met, Sam looked away.

"Sorry." Sam whispered in the quiet room. "Couldn't sleep." Cat smiled in the dark. On her own, she got up and walked to the blonde's bed.

"Is there any room for two?" Cat asked. Sam was conflicted, but lifted her sheets anyway. They laid there in Sam's larger bed together in dead silence. Sam lay there as stiff as a board, her heart almost pounding out of her chest, and her breaths coming out in little puffs of exertion. Cat tenderly laid her hand on the other girl's upper chest.

"Your heart is racing." Cat whispered. Sam said nothing, staring wide eyed at the ceiling in the dark. Cat tenderly kissed her on the cheek. Sam could feel her skin burn from the touch of her lips. Two small manicured hands laid on both of Sam's cheeks to turn her face to the side. In the dimness of the dark room the girl could make out Cat's face as she leaned in to kiss her. It was nothing vulgar, just a soft peck on the lips, but it made Sam's heart burn in her chest. Cat knew.

Cat could never say what compelled her to kiss her that night, and at the moment everything came as a surprise to her as she was doing it. She could call it instinct that made her open her mouth to Sam's returning kiss, that made her tongue slowly slide and tangle with the other girl's. She could say that maybe she felt all this time that the blonde always had something to hide, that she had a history of denying herself the love that she really wanted. Sam probably wouldn't deny that she always felt something with Carly before, and that now those feelings were for Cat.

The smaller girl positioned herself above the other, and Sam could feel the heat radiating from Cat who sat on her stomach as they kissed. Feeling emboldened Sam slid her hand into the pajama pants of the red head, touching and feeling for the heat. Cat lifted her head from the kiss to sigh in relief when Sam found the other girl's sensitive clit. Neither of them could say they were very experienced, but they had touched themselves that way alone, so it came more naturally to them than expected. If Cat was willing to admit it, she would attribute her knowledge of the other girl's body to more than just guessing. She'd seen the other girl's body in various states of undress enough to know that she wanted to kiss and nip the buds of Sam's breasts with her mouth. She lifted the girl's shirt and did so. She might have acknowledged that sometimes she thought of running her fingers over the other girl's womanly curves, touching with slippery fingertips the soft folds and wetness of the other girl's center. So she did.

Sam was more than eager to let the younger girl explore her body, touching and kissing her with a wonder born that of a girl not very experienced with sex but quite eager to please. In the dimness of the moonlit room they explored and touched each other, studying and learning from their bodies how to love. When Cat eagerly brought the older girl to a raw and powerful orgasm, she giggled with glee that she could have so much power over the other girl. Sam pulled Cat's pj's off so quick that it almost startled the sprightly red head, but when her mouth covered the girl's clit, she wasn't one to complain. Sam was in heaven, the whole thing incredibly unreal yet tactile and stark to her senses. Cat came undone in a minute's time, crashing hard and keening loudly in the open room. They both came down in each other's arms, now having changed the dynamic of their friendship, leaving the possibility for more hanging in thin air to be dealt with tomorrow.

"I love you." Sam hoarsely whispered in the dark, but Cat was already asleep.


End file.
